365 days ago I wrote and uploaded my very first blog post on this site. (It will be a year to the day tomorrow but it was a leap year so it’s technically a year today but also not a year today) Who would have thought that a year later I would still be writing and editing the same book? I probably didn’t. But I am so glad that I am.
Truly writing this book has in some ways saved me. It’s a little light of what my life could be. If I just try hard enough and maybe have a little bit of luck, then just maybe I could write for a living. Usually when I get stressed out in my life, it’s seemingly connected to the feeling that I should be writing. I have so many things I want to get in this book but frustrations of everyday life seemingly get in the way.
I discussed my meaning of success the other day with some people. I don’t need my book to be best seller or be rich and famous, as much as that would be lovely. All I really want is to be able to live comfortably off my writing. Call it my career and say the words ‘I’m an author’ when some asks what I do for living. That’s all I really ask.
Tonight I am writing in my bed (where I always write, a horrific habit) in my dark room with the Avatar soundtrack on. It was the Finding Dory soundtrack, my current writing music but I was feeling nostaligic and for a while, the music of Avatar used to send me to sleep. It’s beginning to get that magical time of night when I feel all alone. I know that there are plenty of people out there partying the night away or even just getting started (it really isn’t that late but I’ve been up since 6am so it’s late alright). But in my little bubble, I’m alone and the world is asleep. I can almost guarantee that no one is thinking of me. I’m not wandering through other people’s thoughts. So I can be in my own only.
I am trying to rewrite the ending to my book tonight. I have been avoiding it for quite a while. Endings have always perplexed me. Why do good things have to come to an end? Why can’t they live forever? It’s such a shame. I think I’m also avoiding finishing because when I do, I will need to read it again and start the editing process all over again. I have new ideas to add in earlier on and I’ve done this editing so sporadically (I am only using this word because I watched Clueless the other day) that I am certain there are continuity errors in their masses.
I got distracted in the middle of the writing this. I went back and read through my other posts. In one I made a cracking joke, I said I’d finish this edit by the end of March or April. Hilarious. Right now I’d be happy to finish this edit before the 3rd nibling arrives. Then it’ll be reading time again and another hopefully smaller edit.
It’s approaching 1am and I want to finish this chapter before I finally crash. My male lead is waiting for news and he needs to hear it!
Good night all.
Ashby and her book x
Also: If anyone is interested in reading it and giving me feedback, then you may be needed soon.